In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

                                                                                  - 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

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Years ago, I took a class on making stain glass art where I became interested in making my own patterns and collecting glass for future projects. Later, after getting a job at a stain glass store for a short time, I ended up watching others make a large window that used real stones which intrigued me. The idea of using other materials with glass got my creative mind flowing. A short time later, I ventured to this store yet again where I found a box of scrap glass, or pieces left over from projects that were compiled. This box was filed with various textures of clear glass. I bought it because I had the idea in my mind of making a stain glass window that looked like broken pieces. My idea also included an image of a butterfly. However, my mind eventually went to the cross instead, and in that moment, I had a vision of a window with real black stones along with a broken cross in the center. This image flooded my mind.

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As an artist, there are always art ideas flowing through your mind. Sometimes the ideas make you laugh, sometimes the ideas seem to mean something to you, and sometimes they just pass right through and are forgotten. But this idea was different and felt important. It seemed to come with more, with a story that needed to be told, one that proclaimed that God is there in our brokenness. This was a “wow” moment for me, being in the midst a rough time in my life, feeling very broken myself. I had been feeling that the “thorn in my side,” or my struggles were going to be too much for me to handle and to overcome. I got to work on designing the pattern right away.

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I knew that I wanted to use this clear glass although I had a hard time trying to mix up the different textures so as not to have two of the same next to each other. My desire for this was so that it would feel more chaotic and broken. I then wondered what color I should make the cross.  Returning to the glass store, I went straight to the discount section and quickly found green glass but realized this would not work due to its pattern. I then remembered that I had some white glass left over from a different project that just felt right. In fact, the thought of using this white colored glass made my heart sing for I knew that it represented being clean. I then started tracing the pattern onto card stock and began cutting it out.

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At this moment in time, although Susan and I were still not in a relationship, I had begun going to her house almost every day for I had accepted her invitation to listen to her testimony. These encounters began to bring us closer together. In her house, she had a room that she offered to me as an art studio, which allowed me to start working on this project. God had equipped me with everything that I needed and I was thankful for this began to feel like a mission for me, like this piece which reflected my own life and testimony could and would also help others as well.

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One day, while working in my studio, Susan began to play a song by Matthew West that had just come out called “All the Broken Pieces.” It amazed us how much this song matched my project. I will never forget one particular moment when Susan began to play this song while I worked, dancing behind me, lifting her hands above her as to represent lifting to God all our broken pieces, so that, as the song talks about, He could put them back together.  

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After the glass was completed, God revealed more to me concerning the three rocks I had used. I began to see that they truly did represent the “thorns” that I struggled with. They represented the sin that led to the brokenness which made it hard to see the white cross. It pointed to the fact that sometimes people have a hard time seeing the cross through their sin.

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One day, however, as I was looking up at the completed window, the sun began to shine through and as it did, I began to see that within the white glass that there were hidden colors. There was red, orange, and pink all inside the white glass which made the white look like fire. This time, as the sun shone though, you couldn’t miss the cross and I knew that it was the perfect visual to portray the fact that Christ shines through our brokenness.  

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I thought about this idea a lot after that and about how I needed to do something with this project. I needed to get the word out, so I made some smaller versions. At the time, there were two people in my life that had people close to them pass away and so I gave one to each of them, but I still felt like I needed to do more. However, sadly as is common, life took over and I became busy with work, laying this vision down. This deep desire to share this with others never went away however, the longing within me to tell people that God is with them even though they may feel broken, shattered, useless, and even unforgiven or “unfixable.” God is still there. He still longs to shine through our brokenness, like the sun that shines through the cross in my window. When we let the true Son, Jesus, shine through our brokenness, our lives are made whole again. He turns our mess into a message that He can and longs to shine through in order to inspire others. God is not done with our stories. We are all a work in progress, works of art that God longs to turn into testaments to His glorifying nature. Therefore, never forget that no matter how broken you feel, whether due to sin or loss, God is still there ready to shine through you to make you whole again. He is ready to show you that His grace is sufficient for you. That His power is made perfect in your weakness.